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Hi, I’m Rachel Shumway

And welcome to my world

where you get to break the past stories. and be whoever you want to be.

Do you want to feel like a badass, but feel you are just trying to get by right now? Are you feeling stuck in anxiety, overwhelm and stress? 

I totally feel you. This year has been a kicker.

That’s why Ive created something just for you.

The 12 Steps to Badassery Training

A 12 Step Framework to get you from just getting by, to a space where it is safe to dream again. With a little fear, and a grit to defy all odds.

Badasses do not wait for life to just hand them magical lemonade.
They take lemons and add in their own magic,

Feel Better in 5 minutes- Badassery Skill #3

Feeling better doesn’t need to be a matter of changing or fixing something or finding and solving a problem around you.

There’s a simpler solution that doesn’t need you to change the facts of your life. by the end of this post you will know what emotions are and where they come from, how to not make negative emotions a problem, how to feel your feelings and how to give yourself a 5 minute emotional makeover.

Inner peace, feel happy,  not feeling overwhelmed, not feeling anxious… these are all common requests/ desires i hear my clients talk about.

And you know it makes sense! We are all humans after all, and our survival as a species has depended on us feeling good (ie food, sex, shelter, safety, community.) it’s normal to want to feel good and not feel bad. And for many, it’s “normal” to judge yourself for negative emotions, in the way that it’s your default brain program right now. But you also can change your brain which is great news, and I’ll show you how here.

Though the term “emotional intelligence” is commonly thought of as just how well you relate to OTHERS emotionally, I believe that a high level of emotional intelligence all starts with knowing what self care and mental health mean for you.

Being able to create, change and redirect emotions is Badassery Skill 3/12, and it is also probably my favorite skill🙂

Before jumping into skill 3, create, redirect , visualize and feel emotions, its important to get some contextof this skill, and the framework I created for it. The Badassery framework is a set of 12 skills that you can develop one by one to evolve into the highest version of yourself. This post is about Badassery Skill 3, create, redirect and feel emotions.  Each of the 3 pillars are supported 4 skills,or components as I like to call them. So if you feel a weakness in any of the three pillars, you can look deeper to see what strategy to impliment.

 

Heya! Im Rachel Shumway, creator of The Badass Academy. I am a self-proclaimed badass.

And… also a human. Which means I have days when my inner child is beaten down, and I feel like I am the only person in the world who has not found her way yet.
I don’t believe Im a badass IN SPITE of those things, I know I am a badass because of them.

I believe:
Life is a forging chamber.
It is meant to have moments of total ecstasy, joy, play, excitement, peace and power.
And wholehearted living means that the whole human experience also contains moments of grief, loss, depression, pain, discomfort and vulnerability.

A badass says yes to all of it.

And it is the most rewarding journey I have ever placed myself on.
The International women who walk beside me on this journey can attest to the power of truth rising within spirit to cut through the bullshit that transpires in this world.

We are far from perfect. And that is a beautiful thing.

Pillar 1- Choosing the Vulnerability and Discomfort of Growth

Skill 1 God-Spirit trust and connection
Skill 2 Mind-body trust and connection
Skill 3 Create, feel, visualize and redirect emotion
Skill 4 Embrace Uncertainty and Discomfort

Pillar 2: Live Authentically

Skill 5 Self-Acceptance
Skill 6 Clarity of Purpose in Life
Skill 7 Confidence in Building and Maintaining Relationships
Skill 8 Assertive Communication

Pillar 3- Play Big and Set Big Goals

Skill 9: Create Physical and Emotional Safety through self-care Skill 10: Stand for what you believe Skill 11: Set high personal development goals Skill 12 Fail Forward and Rise with Resillience

Feel Better in 5 Minutes

What are emotions?

We have this amazing body that gives us signals of all kinds of things. Physiological  needs are often easier to discern. Hunger, sleep, sex, physical survival all have sensations linked to them. These signals start in the body and travel to the brain . We also have emotions! Which give us information about our mental state. The signal starts in the brain and travels to the body. They aren’t anything to shy away from, hate on, avoid or over identify with. They are just brain signals. Emotions are badass superpowers that let us know the status of our bodies, physiology, connection with others, direction in life, needs, intuitions and so much more! How often do you check in with how you feel? Emotions are the fuel for our cars. And the reason we ever want to eat cake, have the hot and spicy boyfriend, get a promotion or travel is because of how we think we will feel when we get it. (more on that here) Emotions matter because they are the reason we do or don’t do anything in life. They are  the reason we want to make money- because of how we think it will make us feel when we get it. Perhaps power, freedom, flexibility? They are the reason we want healthy relationships with those around us- we want the feeling of connection. It’s the reason many people want to lose weight- because many of us think that  think- oh skinny=happy so I want to be skinny. Or stop overeating because we think we will feel free, lighter, in control and less foggy. Sometimes too, we do things to avoid feeling a negative emotion. Common examples are overeating, overdrinking, overworking,  over sleeping, gaming, porning. Doing anything that has a negative side affect to avoid feeling something. Common examples of emotions we like to avoid are boredom, anger, sadness, loneliness, anger.

Self-Care Journal Prompt

1. How do you want to feel on a regular basis?

2. What do you find yourself doing/chasing in order to get that emotional state? 

Still With Me? Are you thinking… Thats great Rach. I know I am a badass sometimes, but can it really become a trait that I can control on command?

Or you might be thinking… I am barely getting by as it is. How can I reach a level of badassery if I am still in survival mode? 
I always set goals but lose motivation when things get hard. I am so afraid to put myself out there because what if I fail?

You’re going to want to grab the 12 Steps to Badassery Training. I break down exactly how to create and redirect emotions, how to use badass skills in your life, and how to know EXACTLY what you need for epic self care in any given moment.

I outlined it for you super simply, step by step, one skill at a time, just like you like it. Grab yours right now while the price is just right for you!

What does it mean to have emotions be a signal/alert?

Below are some examples.

You hear laughter. Tummies grumble. A lightning bolt fires off. Desire tingles. Babies cry.

These are all things that alert us to something that wants our attention. They are information. And a badass is aware of these signals and takes action to notice those emotions and take intentional next steps Someone is happy. We can guess that because they just told a joke. The body is low in fuel. We know to give the body food food. My boy/girlfriend is hot AF. We know there’s desire for some spicy. Anger alerts us to something we perceive is wrong. Sadness tells us we are telling a sad story in our minds. Joy let’s us know we are having an overflow of autopilot positive thoughts, rejoicing and gratitude. Flow comes when our natural skills combine with belief in what we are creating and all gears are able to run on autopilot. Urges are an emotion too, though there’s an additional layer that’s important to keep in mind. Readore on urges here Its all information. And if we are proactive in trying to listen, we can hear the alert coming in from miles way. Knowing that emotions are signals, and not problems to be fixed helps us not run away from emotions, which ultimately ends in us reacting in ways that don’t serve us l. And when I say it is information, that does not mean neccecarily that the “alert” is something that is signaling real danger. in fact, most of the time it is not. Our emotions are really created by whatever meaning we attach to the events in our lives.

The challenge really comes in when we get so wrapped up in the emotion that we end up resisting it or reacting to it in an unproductive way.
Sometimes we don’t like how we behave when we feel something so we assume that the FEELINGS themselves are dangerous. But the feeling in and of itself isn’t dangerous or all powerful.
Pushing away or running from feeling away is what makes them seem powerful.
Imagine you are painting your nails. You put on a layer of paint
 When the emotion is just one coat of paint it is not difficult  to feel or process. Its easy to remove and start on a neutral canvas. The paint has many, colors, varieties, textures. We might love some, and dislike others.
What makes the nail  polish really stay on is a top coat. In the case of our emotions, that top coat is judgement, shame, resistance or avoidance.


When you are resisting emotion, you can usually tell because of thoughts like: you should not be feeling this way. If you were doing it right, you would feel better, this feeling is awful I just want to feel better. I need a cupcake. This will never end. And this kind of emotional resistance is what keeps us from having vibrant emotional health.

The 5 Steps to….

So what to do about it? If you find yourself stuck in an emotion that is not useful, how do you move through it? I have a 5 step process that I teach in the Badass academy for how to manage emotions instead of resisting them. This process is essentially a list of emotional skills that you can cultivate for better emotional health and well being

Feel Better in 5 Minutes- The Process

Step 1
Name the feeling- how often do you stop to answer this question for yourself- how am i actually feeling? and i don’t mean like am i happy or sad, i mean like REALLY.

We have over 200 flavors of emotion we can try on, but most often we go through life, flying over the feeling. And remember, the feeling is the fuel for the car, so of course its important to know what quality of fuel is going in.

Step 2
Feel the feeling- Negative emotion and the way our bodies hang on to the energy- if you don’t process it, then you will resist or avoid it, which leads to negative consequence. You feel the feeling by going into your body and noticing the sensations, textures, colors, temperatures of the feeling. Where is it in your body? Breathe into it and invite it in.

I talk a lot about detaching from feelings in Stop Overeating 30 Day Challenge, where I teach you how to handle cravings without reacting. You can find that here

Step 3
Write down the story that you are telling yourself. and then circle the thoughts. Separate the thoughts from the feelings, from the facts of the situation.

Just this one simple step can go a really long way in helping you to detach from the painful story you have created.

Feel Better in 5 Minutes- The Process Continued

Step 4 

Decide how you want to feel. Sometime, we want to feel bad. If someone died, that might be an emotion we choose. But we cannot just ignore those feelings either. When a lightning bolt comes to the sky, thunder follows.

When a thought comes to our brain, a feeling follows. Both thunder and emotions are vibrations. Emotions are ultimately harmless vibrations in the body, and processing the feeling means being with it until the intensity has decreased. So be with it without trying to change it.

Then from there, decide intentionally how you want to feel. Once you’ve processed the feeling, you can then decide where you want to go. On a clean slate, decide how you want to feel about the situation. That doesn’t mean you choose to feel happy about your divorce or relocation. It doesn’t mean you feel peace about abuse. It means that you decide how you want to feel, instead of thinking that the emotion happens TO you.

Step 5

Create a new story- all feelings come from our thoughts. So if you know what you want to feel in this situation, then you can then think about how that feels.

A couple questions that can help you get there- think of a time you felt that about yourself. What were you thinking at the time? What would it be alike to feel ____ in this situation? What would it take for me to choose that feeling instead?

Write down the story that you are telling yourself. and then circle the thoughts. Separate the thoughts from the feelings, from the facts of the situation.

Just this one simple step can go a really long way in helping you to detach from the painful story you have created.

Emotional management is a critical skill for Badassery, good mental health and resilience. It’s not just checking in with ourselves after we find our face in a bag of chips. Or yelling at our kids, or pulling away from our partners. Its being proactive in choosing our emotions, feeling them on purpose and knowing that they are not anything to be afraid of. We just want to be proactive about them because they fuel our actions. The things we DO are simply outcroppings of the emotions.

Self-love journal prompt

What do you do for regular emotional self-care? Do you have a list of self-care ideas that you created for yourself?

Summary

Just like carrots can’t grow without carrot seeds being planted, our emotions are the seeds for our actions.

And our thoughts are the quality of the soil we plant them in.

So how do you know what your feeling at any given time?

Well when farmers farm, they don’t just throw seeds in the ground right?they plan what goes where. They till the soil. They sow the seeds and nurture it till they can harvest the fruit of their labor.

We can do the same thing. Tend to the weeds by noticing thoughts that don’t serve us, painful stories that make us react in a way we dont like.

Take the time to Check in on mental state. Why might that be important for you?

Ask ourselves how we are feeling. Feel the physical sensations of our fingers and toes.

Doing a quick body scan alerts us to our feelings, which are simple the vibrations in our body. Is there tension anywhere? Heat or coolness? Lightness or heaviness? Pressure or movement?

A badass emotional life- a deep mind body connection is an intentional two way street. You monitoring the fields, noticing the weeds of negative thoughts and pulling them out. watering the plants with words of affirmation, powerful pep talks and gratitude.

And its planting good seeds. If you know you don’t want to eat anger for breakfast tomorrow, you’ve got to plant stories of patience. If you decide you want to feel motivated, you have to create a fertile ground for your desires to take root. It’s not a magical emotion that simply falls on you.

The good thing is that epic self care, clear communication, self love, achieving goals, feeling better, eating healthier, not binge eating, getting enough sleep, embracing failure, feeling worthy and Confidence, making friends easier… Whatever result we want can all benefit from the skill of FEELING ON PURPOSE. and that’s what you will learn in the 12 Steps to Badassery Training. You can learn even more about that here.

Ready To Be a Badass?

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